finding the “ness”

All but praises at the end of the day but where do we find a person’s “ness”?

where is the you-ness of you? the me-ness of me?

after our loved ones have moved on, all that’s left is this “ness”.

This after-taste.

Edgardo M. Reyes wrote in his book Sa Mga Kuko ng Liwanag (roughly translated: In the claws of light) that when we mourn, we mourn for ourselves.

We mourn because we can no longer be with the one we love.

We do not mourn the dead.

Just last week, Annabelle Rama (a local celebrity) was asked about her love for her husband. She said she’d rather pass away first than her husband. She would not be able to bear the grief, she explained.

I think this drives home the point: we do not mourn the dead. We mourn for our loss. Perhaps, we fear moving on…forgetting the one we love.

Because even memories fade.

However, in certain moments, we experience the ‘ness’ of our loved ones.

And it is this essence that keeps their memory alive.

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